Once Again, I Peed on Myself

So, the other day I went to yet another appointment at my OB/GYN’s office. As all women know, when you get there one of the first things they ask you to do is to leave a urine sample. While I was diligently leaving mine, I recalled a conversation that a friend of mine had with a friend of hers. And the more I thought about it I figured it was time for someone to take a stand. So today, I would like to advocate for all women especially the preggers by writing the following letter to all OB/GYNs:

Dear Doctor,

The other day while leaving the requested urine sample, I once again peed on myself. Now that I am in my ninth month of pregnancy, I realize that this has been going on every month for the past four months and every week since I had to start coming weekly. No matter what I do it always happens. I used to think that maybe I was peeing on myself because I just wasn’t paying attention. Now, after nine months and a few pregnancies I realize that it is not my fault at all. Considering that you are a medical professional who understands the dynamics of the growing female body, it would stand to reason that you would consider placing a full length mirror in the bathroom. If you know that after a few months of pregnancy I can no longer see my feet, CLEARLY it stands to reason that I can’t see any of my other female parts with the exception of my growing boobs. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the mirror by the sink so I can see myself while washing hands, but there is just something that doesn’t make me feel so FABULOUS as I feel the warmth of the pee going down my hand just before I get to the sink to wash them. In light of all of this, I am standing in the gap, advocating for all women especially the preggers and requesting that you install full length mirrors in the bathroom, not just because we want to see our fabulous selves from head to toe, but also because we no longer want to continue playing hide-and-go-seek with our vaginas. We want to stop peeing on ourselves. If you can’t do it for all women, at least do it for me!!!

Staying FABULOUS,

Charlotte

Life After Loss

I believe that every woman who has been blessed to conceive life always has a certain day etched in her mind; that day being the due date and actual birthday of her children. If that is not true for all women it is most certainly true for me. While I have been blessed to conceive and deliver five of the most beautiful children you have ever seen, I have also had the blessing and heartbreak of losing one. My son, My Angel, who I carried for 12 weeks, would have been five years old today. And every year on the same day I am reminded that a part of me and my husband is living in heaven with Our Lord and Savior. It is the one time of the year when I give myself the opportunity to wonder what my Angel would have looked like, what color would his hair and eyes have been, what would his laugh and voice sound like, what amazing things would he be doing, etc.  It is the one time that I question why I never got to hold him. It is the one time that I wonder if he will know me when Jesus returns. It is the one time I remember the New Years Eve when he was removed from my womb and the feeling of emptiness that I had the next day going into a new year. It is the one time that I give myself permission to shed a few tears for a moment and smile for a while. I shed tears for the loss of the life I carried but I smile because after the loss, God found favor in me to birth the other gifts that He has given me. Even as I write, I wait with great anticipation and expectation of the life, the son, which I will push into this world any day now.  Although I am a little weepy at the moment, it might sound strange to hear me say that I thankful for the gift of loss and thankful for the gift of life. But the reality is, without the gift of loss we may not otherwise know and appreciate the blessing and gift of life. Hugs and Blessings!!!

Staying Fabulous!

Charlotte

A Hairy Situation

Today an FB (Facebook) friend of mine posted on her page that she needed to get her eyebrows done so bad. I smiled when I saw her post  and I responded. Then the more I thought about it I said to myself, “Self, at least she can see her eyebrows.”  I got my eyebrows done last week and they are looking pretty good. But let’s talk about my legs that I haven’t seen in months.  OMG doesn’t even express what those girls look like right now. I tried shaving them once or twice. I looked like a contortionist trying to get the job done. I thought I did a good job until put on a cute sundress with some strappy sandals and saw the patches that I missed.  Do you know how hard it is to try to shave your legs when you are seven months pregnant? I can’t even see my toes let alone my legs. I am sure I can get a few “Amen’s” and high fives on this.

One day I thought about asking my husband to shave my legs for me. Trust, me when I say it was a QUICK passing thought. In a few weeks I will be enduring the “joys” of labor for the sixth time. I just can’t see my fabulous self on the delivery table under the spotlight of motherhood fame, in all my glory, with hairy legs. So, I have come to the conclusion that I will muster up the willpower to go somewhere and get my legs waxed in the next few weeks.  Please pray for me! LOL

Have you ever found yourself in a hairy situation? Let’s talk!

Staying FABULOUS,

Charlotte

How’s It Hangin’?

People who have known me for quite some time know that while in junior high and up until my senior year of high school, I was an athlete. Through college, grad school and after grad school I was an athletic trainer. I trained football, baskeball, track, and soccer athletes, etc. Clearly, I could not be out of shape doing this kind of work. These things and more I did before marriage and (BC) before children.

Knowing all of this, you can probably understand my dismay when I got out of the shower one day last week and overheard my body parts having a conversation with each other. My thighs which never used to touch said, “Please to meet you.”  My breasts, which used to be firm and perky said, “How’s it hangin’?  My stomach which is now 7 months pregnant said to my breasts, “I see you gals have found a nice resting place.”  And the conversations went on and on.

I wish I could say that the fact that I am pregnant and have given birth to and nursed five children gives me a little consolation on my ever changing body, but it doesn’t. However, I do find comfort in the fact I am not the only women in the world who has heard this same conversation from their body.

In this season of my life I cannot prevent these conversations from happening every time I get in and out of the shower. However, I sure as HECK can prevent them from taking place for at least 16 hours a day by doing some of the following:

1. Invest in a DARN good bra
2. Invest in great body slimmer, good pants with a little spandex, good fitting shirts, etc
3. Invest in a gym membership, personal trainer, exercise tapes, an exercise ball, etc.
4. If you are a busy mom like me and can’t make it to the gym, put your children in the stroller and walk around the block a few times, walk up and down your stairs, do squats against the wall of your house, etc.
5. One of my favorites, pick your children up to hug and kiss them often to prevent second grade teacher arms.
6. And of course, watch what you eat. (I watched myself eat a large piece of chocolate cake today. It was so good.) LOL!!!

While I am being being very honest and transparent telling you this, I hope someone helps me to remember all this stuff 12-16 weeks after my sixth child is born. Smooches!!!

 Staying Fabulous,

Charlotte

Jesus Be a Fence…

JESUS BE A FENCE…

Anyone who knows my family is aware of how important prayer time is in our house. Not only is it important but it takes us a LONG time to get through them because everyone on down to our 16 month old has something to say. The other night while we were saying prayers it was time for number 3 (our 4 year old) to say her prayers.  I expected her to say her standard prayer (which is not so standard.) However, while our eyes were closed she began to say:

“Lord, I love you and magnify your name. Thank you for all that you do for me. Now Jesus, be a fence all around me every day. Jesus, I want You to protect me as I travel along the way. I know you can. Yes Lord. I know you will. Yes Lord. Fight my battles if I keep still. Lord, be a fence all around me every day.” Then right before she finished she got loud and said, “LORD, I KNOW YOU WILL DO ALL THESE THINGS BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PROTECTOR AND YOU KEEP ME FROM DANGER EVERY DAY. AND YOU LOOK OUT FOR ME, MY BORTHERS AND MY MOMMY AND DADDY. THANK YOU JESUS. AAAAMEN!!!”

Now, I must admit that in the beginning I thought she was playing until me and my husband opened our eyes and looked at each other and then looked at her. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But thanked the Lord that my 4 year old knew the words to that song and could pray them and mean them in her heart.

You should know that my husband taught our children that Fred Hammond song as we were riding to church a month or so ago. Hearing my daughter say the words to that song in her prayers reminded me of a few things:

1. When we don’t know what to pray, we can pray the words of a song that has touched our heart.
2. Be care what you teach, say, and do around your children because you never know when you will hear it or see it again.

The Last Time Ever I Saw Your Face…

THE LAST TIME EVER I SAW YOUR FACE…

This morning as I woke up for my early morning tinkle, I happened to look out my window and see my neighbors (a husband and wife) having a conversation.  Although my bladder was about to bust, I felt compelled to stand there a little longer to watch them. I have no clue what they were talking about but it must have been pretty good. Their body position toward each other was that of affection and endearment. The husband was leaning in quite close to his wife and her body position responded toward him. He must was told her something sweet or maybe a little juicy because she seemed to laugh and blush slightly. Before he walked to his car they shared a short yet tender kiss before saying goodbye. If that were not enough, he turned and told her one more thing. She smiled and stood on the sidewalk as she watched him drive away.

After observing the morning exchange between my neighbors, I proceeded to release the pressure from my overfilled bladder. As I sat there, I wondered how many husbands and wives shared a tender exchange before departing for the day.  How many spouses took the time to say, “Baby, I Love you,” You smell so good” You look so handsome or beautiful?” How many spouses shared a laugh, a kiss or even a “quickie” just before going out into the physical, emotional, and spiritual elements of the day?

Although, it was none of my business, I appreciated watching the early morning exchange of my neighbors. It further confirmed how important it is to let the last interaction with your spouse and loved ones to be a positive one. God forbid if something tragic were to happen with one of my lovebird neighbors today. However, if something was to occur, they can rest assure that the last time they saw each other was sweet and tender. It was not filled with malice and fighting words that cut to the core. They have the confidence in knowing that the last thing they felt was each other’s lips and on a wet and cloudy day, they were each other’s sunshine. Can you say the same?

Stay FABULOUS,

Charlotte

Old Yeller

Old Yeller

Almost 12 weeks ago I was sitting in the hair salon under the dryer when I came across a blog post by Veronica Webb. Her post entitled A Quiet House, hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I think I still have the marks on my face. Anyway, in her article she was talking about how she used to yell at her children as a form of discipline and out of frustration. She got to the point where she decided that yelling at her children was not what she wanted.  One of her children asked her why she yelled. She shared things with them about her childhood and so on. She apologized to her children and told them that from that day forward she would not yell at them, with the exception of dangerous and urgent situations.

Now, let me just say, I naturally have a loud and very strong voice. I am not one who needs a microphone to talk to a group of people. To be quite honest, I have been a yeller for quite some time. If you don’t believe me ask my older brother. However, I thank Veronica Webb for her blog post because what she was talking about really hit home for me. Just a week before I read her blog post I committed in my heart that I would stop yelling at my children. I was just a month or so out from having my fifth baby when I realized that my tone of voice was getting out of control. Granted I was beyond exhausted and often times frustrated that a few things weren’t going my way, but that was no reason to yell at my husband or my children. The thing that did it for me was when I yelled at my daughter about something. My voice was so out of control that she had a look of fear in her eyes and tears ran down her face as her little voice said, “Mommy, Mommy I didn’t mean it. When I reach for her she jumped. The look of fear in her eyes hurt me to my core. And the fact that she jumped when I reach for her hurt me also.  In another instance, I was so beyond frustrated with my husband one day that I yelled at him in front on the children. I was so mad that the tone and volume of my voice was so out of control that my son came by the door and said, “Mommy, you are supposed to be kind to daddy. You are not being kind on to another.” What on earth was I thinking? With all the things that my children are confronted with in the world outside our home, the last person who they need to feel abused, violated, or afraid of is me, their mommy, the one who pushed them into this world. From that point on, I knew that I NEEDED to do better. I HAD to do better. I WANTED to do better. If I don’t do better I will be damaging the lives to the people who need and love me most.

In closing, there are a few things that I really appreciated about the blog post by Veronica Webb. 1) This celebrity was not afraid to expose her flaws to the public and to her children. 2) She was big enough to apologize and explain her behavior to her children. 3) She recognized that having A Quiet Home started with her. 4) She understood that power that she had as the mother of her children. 5) One of the last things that she said is that she doesn’t strive to me a perfect mother; she strives to be a better mother.

Today, I want to confess that I love being a mommy. I confess that motherhood is a HARD job. I confess that everything does not run smoothly in my home every single day. I also confess that my name is Charlotte and I am a recovering yeller. I am proud to say that I am almost 12 weeks sober from yelling.

Here is to all the mommies who strive to be better because they understand that perfection is out of reach. 

Stay Fabulous!!!

Did I Just Pee On Myself?!!!

Let me start by saying that the mall and I are pretty good friends. But our relationship has become a little estranged now that I expecting my fifth baby any day now. It was my goal to have finished all of our families Christmas shopping before December arrived. Due to reasons that I won’t touch right now (husband and budget) I found myself starting our Christmas shopping yesterday. I did say that I am due to pop any day now right?

Anyway, today I went to the mall to finish up our families Christmas shopping. I was really trying to be diligent and make some serious moves. You know, get in and get out. As I waddled into fourth store I felt this warm big gush of something wet in myundergarments. I said to my self, “Self, did my water break or did I just pee on myself?” Trust me when I tell you that I got out of the mall quick, fast, and in a hurry!!! Nevertheless, my water did not break. LOL!!!

Now Ladies, there are a few lessons to be learned here. The first lesson is when you are close to delivery always wear a pad for protection. If you just happen to have an unexpected “accident” you won’t be walking around looking like you missed your potty training lesson. The second lesson is when you are pregnant and give your husband a deadline of when somethings needs to get done before you deliver and he doesn’t comply, make him be the one to run around like a chicken with his head cut off to accomplish the necessary tasks that need to get done at the last-minute. LOL!!!

ASK Charlotte…

Have a general parenting question or want to start a discussion about a topic, ask Charlotte so we can all discuss it.

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