I believe that every woman who has been blessed to conceive life always has a certain day etched in her mind; that day being the due date and actual birthday of her children. If that is not true for all women it is most certainly true for me. While I have been blessed to conceive and deliver five of the most beautiful children you have ever seen, I have also had the blessing and heartbreak of losing one. My son, My Angel, who I carried for 12 weeks, would have been five years old today. And every year on the same day I am reminded that a part of me and my husband is living in heaven with Our Lord and Savior. It is the one time of the year when I give myself the opportunity to wonder what my Angel would have looked like, what color would his hair and eyes have been, what would his laugh and voice sound like, what amazing things would he be doing, etc. It is the one time that I question why I never got to hold him. It is the one time that I wonder if he will know me when Jesus returns. It is the one time I remember the New Years Eve when he was removed from my womb and the feeling of emptiness that I had the next day going into a new year. It is the one time that I give myself permission to shed a few tears for a moment and smile for a while. I shed tears for the loss of the life I carried but I smile because after the loss, God found favor in me to birth the other gifts that He has given me. Even as I write, I wait with great anticipation and expectation of the life, the son, which I will push into this world any day now. Although I am a little weepy at the moment, it might sound strange to hear me say that I thankful for the gift of loss and thankful for the gift of life. But the reality is, without the gift of loss we may not otherwise know and appreciate the blessing and gift of life. Hugs and Blessings!!!
Staying Fabulous!
Charlotte
